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Sorry State Of Affairs

Do you ever just get in one of those moods? I haven’t felt like myself all day today, just kinda achy and stressed and I feel just really really tired. So after I finally clocked out (thank goodness because I was at the point of wanting to reach through my computer and rip somebody’s face off) and moved all of that paraphernalia off of my bed (which is where I work), I went and helped out with the dinner that my honey was preparing. So scarfing down a couple of soft tacos and washing it down with a beer, I then took care of the leftovers, (and by taking care of, I actually mean throwing everything into one bowl for a pseudo taco salad for lunch tomorrow) while he loaded up the dishwasher. Then I disappeared into the bedroom (nothing new there) and found a movie on cable that I never intended to watch while I caught up on my social media. Still feeling crappy, the tension tight between my shoulder blades and my lower back hurting from all of the ungodly positions I kept squirming into all day trying to get comfortable while I was doing my telemarketing thing, I decided to take a hot shower, letting the water beat on me for a while and hopefully relieving some of the ache. Pop Evil is blaring on my Spotify, (rocking out is my usual go to stress reliever), which signals to those that know me that I’m in a mood and today’s mood being that I’m miserable and I keep swinging between abject despair and a silent seething rage. Now I’ve found that it’s hard to get a good grip on either of these emotions with one counterbalancing the other, not able to plumb the full depths of sadness that will result in a good cry and feeling better, not able to quench the rage by lashing out and dispelling the bitter adrenaline. It’s a sorry state of affairs that I find myself in. So there’s nothing else to do but call it a night (aka tossing and turning in bed) and hope that the morning will bring a miraculous change of spirit.

Lacey ☮

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