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What Is Loyalty

So I sat down today determined to write about something, but I really wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to address. There’s a number of things that have been running through my mind, some I would like to share, more still that I wouldn’t for various reasons.
I’ve been thinking a lot about loyalty lately. There are those who love me and a couple of these people are fiercely loyal, but most of them not so much. To some extent this has been bothering me, but I finally came to the realization that it’s not a matter of the depth of feeling, it’s more a matter of strength. My babygirl loves me to the moon and I believe that if I were to tell her that someone was bothering me, she would happily walk over to them and rip off their face! (Not literally of course, but the feeling would be there… 😏) Now she’s a strong minded woman with a very big heart and there’s no doubt that she loves her mama! <3 I myself am very strong, (not sure where that comes from, inherited genes and being extremely stubborn probably contributes) and I’ll fight for the ones I love, especially if I think they’re not in a position to fight for themselves, (which says a lot because I hate confrontation and drama). So anyway, I’ve been turning this over in my mind and I figured out that it’s a matter of strength. Not physical strength, not even mental strength, it’s an inner strength that can’t be faked, can’t be forced, maybe can’t even be learned, it’s just a part of who you are. I’ve always believed in taking the high road rather than taking the easy route and it bothers me to no end for anyone to be able to hold anything over my head, which is why I believe in paying my own way and not owing anything to anyone. (Do I trust you enough to give you that power?) Now this brings me to my epiphany, not everyone has that personal steeliness. I love you, but do me wrong and I can walk away without looking back and continue on with my life, this goes for anybody, family or friend, but I’m learning that there are people that love differently. They apparently don’t want to upset the applecart in any way these people. Why can’t we all just be friends? Live and let live? Grin and bear it? Sing kumbaya? I’m all for that, don’t get me wrong, don’t bother me and I certainly won’t bother you, but what if someone does bother me? I believe I have the right to stand up for myself and nobody should think that they have the authority to take that away from me. Are you standing up for me? No, then sit your butt down and I’ll stand up for myself (which is necessary to me because I’m nobody’s doormat). I think it’s a definition difference. Loyalty to me is always standing by someone I love, even when they’re wrong, (but I’ll definitely tell them why they’re wrong in private), taking up for them when someone has something to say behind their back that I don’t agree with (and I probably won’t even tell them what I did because what purpose would it serve other than to upset them) and not going along with the crowd when I know those actions will be hurtful, (being accepted by everybody isn’t important to me). Loyalty doesn’t mean that you have to choose to love one and not another, it doesn’t mean that you should beat up everybody that looks at your loved one sideways and it definitely doesn’t mean butting into your loved one’s problems uninvited. That’s not loyalty, that’s just being silly. Stand up to the injustice done to someone you love, it’s as simple as that.
Now for an example, there have been upsets within my own family and in some instances when it involved me, I’ve actually made it clear that I didn’t want sides to be taken. After one particular altercation, my babygirl, she never turned her back on them, but she did still tell them that they were wrong, she stood up for me! Now that’s my idea of loyalty. Maybe I’m wrong, my thinking may be skewed, but I believe that you should never give anyone the power to dictate your actions, whether they’re using love, guilt, money or whatever leverage they think that they have to hold over your head. You love who you choose with an honest heart and clear head and in so doing, you’re free to speak your mind and do the right thing.

Lacey ☮

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Heart On My Sleeve

1-
I hide it all inside
Yet my heart is on my sleeve
Just look into my eyes
And see all that is me

I want to hide from you
And try to bury me
I don’t care what you do
I can always lie to me

Chorus-
About a future that will stay
A horizon that won’t change
A road that will run true
No twisting turning lanes

I need some solid ground
Underneath my feet
And I long for the day
That my heart’s not on my sleeve

2-
This passion that I feel
For the life that I can’t see
Gets harder to contain
Because I want it all for me

The day will come I hope
When I’ll be free to dream
And I won’t be so afraid
And I finally can believe

Repeat Chorus-

*Lacey*

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Break The Cycle

So I’m trolling on Facebook, something I do about 30 minutes of every day and I follow a few different animal sites, so I get more than my fair share of furbaby pics. Well there’s this video of “Hero dog won’t leave his friend” and it REALLY ticks me off. This poor dog has been hit by a train and is laying helpless on the tracks while another dog stands over him, now that is beautiful, animals showing pure love, BUT who is this *sshat filming it and why hasn’t he done something to help? Especially when yet ANOTHER train comes and the dog is cowering on the tracks and his friend is forced to stand to the side until the train passes. I saw pure red, I was so mad… So I leave the following comment,
“This is disgusting!!! Help the freaking dog, don’t stand there filming it!!! NOBODY SHARE THIS CRAP!!! Take away their 15 minutes of fame!!!”
Of course I didn’t really expect to make a difference, but at least I put in my two cents worth. There! Take that! Feel the heat of my wrath in words because I’m not actually there to smack the crap out of you! Well well, somebody left me a comment, big surprise there, another chest thumping dumb*ss. She said “read my post”, so I did and this is what she said verbatim,
“He did explain the male dog was protecting the female dog so made rescuing difficult, it was only after a few days that he allowed the rescue home to help. The guy filming was actually filming just before the rescue.”
Well I’ll be! That just changes EVERYTHING! I’m so sorry! NOT!!! You sh*t for brains! (And never mind the “home for help” part. Huh?) So I replied,
“I read your post, I stand by what I said. It doesn’t take days to effect a rescue, ask any vet that has used a tranquilizer.”
I was polite and concise although I still seethed inside. I have this reaction to a lot of the senseless posts that I sometimes see and I’ve run the risk of upsetting some friends when they happen to be the unfortunate ones to share said posts. Like one I saw a couple of months ago, shared by someone actually pretty dear to me, it was a poor dog that had duct taped mouth and feet. The caption was “Scroll by if you’re heartless, share if you would help me.” I know she meant well, she’s an animal lover that goes out of her way to help homeless animals, but she wasn’t seeing the big picture which is, “Why the h*ll are you taking pictures instead of doing something? Are you the monster that did this just so you could take a freaking picture? So I blasted the post, not her specifically, but the stupid picture, she didn’t hold it against me. Whew… There’s a lot of this going on, cruelty to animals just so somebody can get their “15 minutes of fame”. Don’t perpetuate the cycle, if you don’t share it, it will die a quiet death and eventually people will stop doing this kind of stuff because they’re not getting the desired attention. Also perhaps it may help me to not be in a jail cell one day because if I ever see something and I actually have the opportunity to land my right hook instead of just my words, somebody’s going down!

Lacey ☮

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Seize The Day

At the beginning of every new year everybody does the same old thing, make New Year’s resolutions. I quit participating in this annual ritual some years back, but this year, I’m diving right back in again. This new year is going to be the beginning of a new me!
New do, that’s number one, because I thought that I could embrace the silver and rock that, but uhm, no… not liking that at all.
Losing weight is number two, big surprise there! 😂 Seriously though, I’ve been a size 5 forever and now I’m not even close, haven’t been for the last couple of years and I’m not liking that either!
Change of attitude is number three… I’m not sure which direction I’m going with that one, I just know it needs tweaking a bit. Am I too soft? Too brash? I think my temper maybe needs to be checked somewhat. Perhaps snarky with a big dash of not really giving a flip which in turn will make me a happier camper which will result in me actually being nicer when I should be, but tougher when I need to be. Yep, that sounds good!
Number four is that I definitely need to stop procrastinating, now that’s a really bad habit. I get easily bored and if it’s not stimulating to my brain, I really just don’t want to do it, whatever it is. Something I want to learn about? I’ll study it for hours on end. Some kind of electronic glitch? I can sit there all day long trying one thing after another until I finally figure it out. I do love a challenge and a puzzle! Any new game, recipe or whatever, I’m going to do it and keep doing it until I get completely burned out on it. No half measures for me! 😃
Number five, hummm, let’s see… I think I’m going to finally figure out what it is that I want to do with my life and I’m just going to do it! No more playing that waiting game, hoping for the perfect time to make things happen, I’ve got to be the one to make it happen! I always tell myself someday, but I’m running out of days and so someday may never come. I want to get my motorcycle license and not always just ride on the back, can’t do that sitting my butt on the couch! I want to start a full time business, be my own boss and be the one to call the shots, can’t do that spending all my free time on social media. I want to DO something, but I let myself get complacent and I use the crutch that now is not the right time. So when is the right time? It is NOW, right now, the right time is as soon as possible, but I’ve got to stop procrastinating, I’ve got to change my attitude, and that new hair color and weight loss plan would definitely help to give my spirits a boost! 😉 All of this would help to push me in the right direction of where I want to be… CARPE DIEM!!!

Lacey ☮

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Pet Me…

Our 8 year old puppy hasn’t been feeling well and my honey was laying down next to him on the floor, stroking him, petting him, talking to him soothingly and I thought “You know, that’s really sweet, I never get petted like that when I don’t feel so good, I’d like to be babied like that.” and I remembered back to the various aches and pains and cruds that I’ve been through that I’ve pretty much suffered with alone, but right on the heels of that thought was an epiphany, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. When our furbaby doesn’t feel well, it’s so obvious and of course all you want to do is love him up and make him feel better. I on the other hand have a tendency to not so much hide it as to ignore it, push through it, keep going in spite of it. No weakness here! Oh no, nothing’s gonna keep me down, I’m Superwoman! Right? No, not as right as I’d like it to be. I am the way I am because I don’t know how to be any other way. “You’re so strong!” I often hear, but I don’t always feel strong or in control, I just don’t know how not to keep treading water because I’m afraid that I’ll drown. So I keep swimming, keep pushing, keep fighting through, no whimpering, just focusing on the next step that I need to make. I never ask for help, that one is definitely on me. If I can do it myself, or feel reasonably (or even unreasonably) sure that I can figure it out, I’m on it. If something horrible happens and someone is trying to show me sympathy or compassion, I have to walk away from them, it’s the only way I can maintain the tight control that I have over my emotions, I refuse to cry. It’s usually the same when I’m angry, I walk away until I can once again regain the composure that I normally possess. Don’t help me! Don’t touch me! Keep your distance! Doesn’t sound like someone that wants to be petted does it? Growls can be deceiving, especially when your hackles are raised, but isn’t that just a defense? What animal doesn’t respond to kindness once they learn it’s not a ruse? So maybe I should try to be a little softer, more accessible, just let down my guard a little and allow that soft underbelly to be exposed and touched, just maybe. Pet me and give me a treat, we’ll see…

Lacey ☮

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FOTBabies

Friends of Tennessee’s Babies with Special Needs… I recently had the opportunity to speak with one of the “Volunteers of the Year” at fotbabies.org and he was so passionate while speaking about the work that he’s been doing for this organization that I felt compelled to go and check it out. Of course he literally had no idea who I was, you know, fundraising telemarketer by day, blog writing introverted hippie by night! 😏 It’s a relatively simple little website, not secure and slow loading, but if you’re a little patient, it comes around and I’m definitely glad that I waited for it. Their vision statement is “Connecting families with fellowship, resources and support- Because Babies Can’t Wait”, this touched my heart. They have a resource library that covers a variety of topics and family issues ranging from guides to helping families with hearing impaired or blind children to meditation for moms and devotional readings. You can watch welcome videos of events and testimonials and see how these people really care about kids come shining through. They offer programs and services which include respite care, loaner hearing aids, emergency and bereavement support. They have something they call “Hospital Collaboration”, it’s care Packages to families who have premature babies in the NICU at Children’s Hospital, also quarterly baby showers at Children’s Hospital and UT Medical Center for families who have babies in the NICU. Now I don’t live in Tennessee, but if I did and had small children, I’d be feeling grateful to know that these guys were there if I were to run into trouble. fotbabies.org is entirely nonprofit and operates solely on grants and donations. They have a PayPal set up that is secure if anyone cares to donate and they have a mailing address as well
Friends of Tennessee’s Babies With Special Needs
P.O. Box 544
Alcoa, TN 37701-0544

So go right ahead and check it out and if you happen to have a spare dollar or two, I’m sure that it would be appreciated!  👩‍👧‍👦

Lacey ☮

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Sorry State Of Affairs

Do you ever just get in one of those moods? I haven’t felt like myself all day today, just kinda achy and stressed and I feel just really really tired. So after I finally clocked out (thank goodness because I was at the point of wanting to reach through my computer and rip somebody’s face off) and moved all of that paraphernalia off of my bed (which is where I work), I went and helped out with the dinner that my honey was preparing. So scarfing down a couple of soft tacos and washing it down with a beer, I then took care of the leftovers, (and by taking care of, I actually mean throwing everything into one bowl for a pseudo taco salad for lunch tomorrow) while he loaded up the dishwasher. Then I disappeared into the bedroom (nothing new there) and found a movie on cable that I never intended to watch while I caught up on my social media. Still feeling crappy, the tension tight between my shoulder blades and my lower back hurting from all of the ungodly positions I kept squirming into all day trying to get comfortable while I was doing my telemarketing thing, I decided to take a hot shower, letting the water beat on me for a while and hopefully relieving some of the ache. Pop Evil is blaring on my Spotify, (rocking out is my usual go to stress reliever), which signals to those that know me that I’m in a mood and today’s mood being that I’m miserable and I keep swinging between abject despair and a silent seething rage. Now I’ve found that it’s hard to get a good grip on either of these emotions with one counterbalancing the other, not able to plumb the full depths of sadness that will result in a good cry and feeling better, not able to quench the rage by lashing out and dispelling the bitter adrenaline. It’s a sorry state of affairs that I find myself in. So there’s nothing else to do but call it a night (aka tossing and turning in bed) and hope that the morning will bring a miraculous change of spirit.

Lacey ☮

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My Hidey Hole

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So I have this quirk, it’s not a bad thing really, but it makes my boyfriend super crazy! I like to hang out in my bedroom. I guess it’s one of those introverted things, but I look at it like this, it’s my comfy zone. Remember when you were a kid? Where did you spend most of your time when you weren’t outside harassing nature with your loud exuberance? In your bedroom, happily playing with your toys, listening to music or just curled up on your bed with a good book. My room was my space, my castle, my cave, period. Go to your room and shut the door and you’ve successfully blocked out all of the drama and petty annoyances that are usually associated with coexisting with other people. Peace and quiet, ahhh… So this is a personal tradition that I’ve pretty much carried with me throughout much of my adult life, I even indoctrinated my children when they got older! (Not really, they were doing that already all on their own…) We each had our own “apartment” and the rest of the house was “shared space” that everyone was responsible for. Everyone cleaned up their own mess after themselves, which wasn’t a problem because everyone pretty much just stayed in their own apartment! Knock knock, “Hey Mom, what ya doing?” “Playing Farmville, what’s up?” The child then proceeds to plop on my bed. “Nothing much, what’s for dinner?” “Spaghetti I’m thinking. Sound good?” “Sure…” “Wanna play some chess?” “Nah, not really, I just wanted to say hey.” “You mean you wanted to say that you’re getting hungry.” “Yeah well, something like that.” “Hint taken, I’m on it” sigh… But my children are all grown now and have moved out into the world to carve out their own little piece of it and it’s just me and my babe. I still like to hang out in my room, but he just doesn’t get it. “It’s not healthy.” “Why isn’t it? It’s the same air in every room and just as many windows to let the sun in.” “It’s not normal.” “Not normal for who? Many people feel the exact same way that I do, that makes it quite normal.” “You’re being antisocial.” “So? Your point being?” And that brings us right back to the NO DRAMA part… So maybe it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but hey, it keeps me happy! It makes me the well rounded, happy go lucky, gregarious ball of sunshine that I am! (Stop snickering…)

Lacey ☮

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God Got Me!

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We all go through rough patches in life, we have accidents, heartache and mayhem and I know that I’ve certainly had my share, but my most used and favorite saying is “God got me” because I sincerely believe this with my whole heart. Now I work and struggle and run around, trying as hard as I can to do the best that I can because I believe He expects me to. You can’t just sit on your butt and expect to be spoon fed like a toddler, you have to get out there and try! You do your best and He’ll take care of the rest. So every time I run into that wall or am confused about which path to take, there He is, giving me a gentle nudge that gets me going in the right direction. The key to this though is to trust and to listen. You have to trust that God will always catch you and listen to that little voice inside because mostly He only whispers. I give Him credit for all of my best ideas and I’m certainly grateful for every time He just reached right out and saved me, because these times have been numerous. By all accounts, I should no longer be walking this earth, but here I am, still going strong! FAITH, I have faith in my Father and no fear, only gratitude and love. Why should a child be afraid of their father? No reason! I try to make Him happy because I want to make Him proud of me, not because I’m afraid of anything. Sometimes I wish that I could just share all of the thoughts and knowledge that I have using a vulcan mind meld, (yep I was a trekkie) so people could understand exactly why I feel the way that I do, because the way I feel inside is liberating! I am loved! I am safe! Someone wants the best for me and helps me in every way imaginable. I’ve been broken and trampled, but He always lifts me up and puts me back together. I’ve been lost and confused, but He always guides me out of the darkness. I never say “God why are you doing this to me?” because He didn’t do anything to me, someone or something else did and He loves me enough to stroke my fevered brow and make me whole again. God got me! Even with all my shortcomings and weaknesses, He still has my back, the best friend I ever had. God has you too, just trust Him enough to listen…

Lacey ☮

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Southern Sayings

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Now I know the very first thing that pops into your head is “Cuter than a speckled pup sitting in a red wagon!” I’m going to tell you straight up… not only have I never heard a true southerner say this in my entire life, but I find it insulting every time I hear it from some outsider trying to be funny. You’re not funny, not even a little, there I said it! (I knew this one girl that would always say something about squirrels when she saw me, she thought she was being obnoxiously clever. If you ask me, I think she had a few squirrels running loose in her hayloft!) Now I will admit that our speech is different in a colorful kinda way, but I like it, it has character. There’s absolutely no mistaking one of us when you run across us, that southern drawl is unique! Now here are some of the things that we really do say…

  1. “Bless your heart” Probably one of the most famous that we have. It’s used to show both sympathy and exasperation, depending upon the recipient.
  2. “Fixin’ to” This means I’m about to, sometimes with an added, just give me a darn minute! Which brings us to…
  3. “Hold your horses” The previously mentioned, wait a minute.
  4. “I reckon” This means I think or I guess. “I reckon so” means I suppose I agree. This application is often used by husbands to avoid a fight.
  5. “Worn slap out” Means tired to the bone, completely weary or when applied to an inanimate object, can mean used beyond repair. “After shelling all them beans, I’m worn slap out!”
  6. “I’ll jerk a knot in your tail” Often used by mothers toward their offspring. 😮 If you heard this, buddy you were in trouble.
  7. “Colder than a well diggers butt” That’s pretty dang cold! Or another one meaning the same thing…
  8. “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra”
  9. “My dogs are hollering” Which means your feet hurt!
  10. “Well I swanee” Meaning “well I’ll be” or “I’ll be darned”. (I don’t know how it originated.) 🤔
  11. “If you can’t run with the big dogs, you best stay on the porch” I love this one! I’ve used it more than a few times when I was younger and feeling cocky. I think you get the meaning.
  12. “Over yonder” Now that could be 10 feet or 10 miles! Yonder is anywhere that isn’t right where you are. You can add way, as in “Way over yonder” and that’s a further piece away than just yonder!

A few choice words and phrases are as follows:

  • Y’all
  • All y’all
  • Cattywampus
  • Hankering
  • Piddling
  • Whup
  • I’ll cut your tail.
  • Bless your pea-picking heart.
  • I wouldn’t p*ss on him if he was on fire.
  • Sticks in your throat like a hair in a biscuit.
  • You’re so full of sh*t your eyes are brown.
  • As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
  • Too big for your britches.
  • Full as a tick.
  • I’ll snatch you bald.

So I hope you guys had as much fun reading these as I did jotting them down! Catch ya’ll later! 😃

Lacey ☮